By Cynthia May, MA, LLP, EAC Clinical Specialist – Has anyone ever asked you “what do you want?” And did you have an answer? (Okay, besides winning millions in the lottery.) Knowing the true answer to that question can change the direction of your whole life. You’ll have the direction to manifest the experience you really want to have. And I mean that literally. Let me explain.
There’s a simple process I’d like to present to you. It’s simple yet has profound results. It involves answering 3 small questions:
- What do I want?
- How can I get it?
- What experience am I looking for? Then, go back to question #1.
Let me demonstrate:
- What do I want? A new car.
- How can I get it? I can save money for a down payment. Perhaps sell some extra items I no longer need or want to raise some money. I can explore some loan options.
- What experience am I really looking for? Hmmm…check out this handout on symbols vs experience for some ideas.
So, why do I want a new car?
- I have a car with over 100,000 miles on it.
- I’m driving 35 miles to work each day.
- I’m not car savvy – especially if something breaks down.
- I feel vulnerable as a woman driving alone if something goes wrong with my car.
Now, I repeat question #1 again.
- What do I really want? Safety
- How can I get it? Take my car in for a thorough inspection. Repair or update what’s necessary.
- What experience do I really want? Safety
It’s the experience that I really want – and there’s no wrong answer. I could want a new car to experience status, or to reflect my expression (a yellow VW bug for example), or to be functional (a truck to transport those big items, like wood or furniture), or for fun (perhaps, an off-road vehicle). There’s no wrong answer.
After narrowing down what you really want to experience, look for other areas in your life that you could obtain that desired experience. For me the experience of “safety” is very important. So, I can look to seek other areas in my life where I can obtain more safety. Maybe it is installing a dead bolt lock on my door or non-slip rug on the back steps, etc. When I’ve taken actions to ensure my safety, I will be free of worry and anxiety. Then I can enjoy my personal space in pure contentment. (And that’s another experience I seek.)
Everything we want has an experience attached to it that we desire to feel. And desired experiences will determine our life goals. So, what do you want?