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Thoughts From Our Director

Is Connecting on Hate Good for Relationships?

Recently, I heard about an episode of Shark Tank where “the sharks” funded an entrepreneur who developed a dating app that brings people together around what they dislike.

Hater is the app that matches you based on what you hate.”

This is the description about the app on the App Store. The App Store Editor’s notes have this to say: “Romantic compatibility doesn’t necessarily mean liking all the same stuff – having loathing’s in common can be its own soulmate spark. We adore Hater because it takes a deliciously fun approach to matchmaking, connecting us the potential partner based on things we mutually despise. Messy roommates? Airplane Seats? Selfie sticks? Ughhh! Nothing breaks the ice on a first date quite like a shared rant about the stuff that drives us nuts.”

This makes me sad. I understand the premise; nothing brings a group of people together like a common enemy. However, in our work with employees, we know that when leaders bond their teams around venting and personality-based problem analysis, it is a dead-end with no resolution. You might think of it as a sugar high. It is an effortless way to bond, yet in the long run, it destroys respect, trust and morale.

Albert Einstein put it this way, “Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius – and a lot of courage – to move in the opposite direction.”

I would be curious to know the long-term success of these relationships that are built on hatred. My fear – it will add to a world already filled with hate.

Let’s remember the words of Martin Luther King, Jr., “Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

Here is my challenge to you today: what are you going to do to show love to others?  Post you response here.

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